When We Could Fly
by iammemyself
Summary: Sonic has taken off in search of freedom and estranged himself from his friends. Now it's up to Knuckles to somehow find Sonic and bring him back when Tails needs him most.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

When you're a kid, you don't think it'll happen to you.

They tell you it doesn't last, that you grow apart eventually. That the friendships we form when we are young only last until the ones we befriended no longer have what we once needed.

We didn't believe that.

'Friendship never ends', and all that.

How could we believe that?

We kicked supervillain ass together. Died together. Came back to life. Lied for each other and sacrificed for each other and were there for each other, no matter what.

I blame Sonic.

And it really was his fault. Sort of. I know he couldn't help it, but he broke first.

We could tell he didn't want to stick around any more. It had all become routine. Kick robot ass, talk some smack with Eggman, rinse and repeat. None of it was fun for him anymore, which is the only reason he did it in the first place. Because it was fun, because it was exciting. He got to say all the heroic catchphrases and trade barbs with a mad scientist. I guess one day he ran out of smart remarks.

We would hang out all the time, like friends do, but he started to die inside after a while. A little bit more and a little bit more every day, until he stopped talking and was barely present even though he was there with us. Tails said he might be getting depressed. Said he no longer ate or slept or even ran, just sat in the living room staring at the wall. If he was asked to do something he would do it, but automatically, with none of the flair and panache he used to give to even the simplest of things, like doing the dishes. Hanging out with Sonic was like hanging out with a washing machine. And the washing machine would have responded more than he did. So eventually we stopped asking. Eventually we started meeting up less and less.

One day he just left.

Tails called me and told me that Sonic had moved from the living room to the front porch. He was pretty excited. "If Sonic's gonna run," he said, "then everything's gonna be alright."

But he just sat there, through the day and into the night.

By morning he was gone.

We didn't bother going after him. We couldn't have caught him and we didn't know where he was going. And we both knew that the real Sonic had left a long time ago, way back when the rest of him was sitting in the living room.

Tails was devastated. Sonic was his big brother, his role model, his mentor, and his best friend. When he left he should have taken Tails. He kind of had anyway.

Tails changed completely after that.

He moved out of the house he and Sonic had been living in and went to live with his dad. He stopped building planes and robots and whatever else he thought up to put together and sold all of his patents to high-tech, high-profile companies.

He had sworn never to do that. He had the view that it was equivalent to intellectual prostitution, to sell this technology to companies that would own it exclusively and charge through the roof for it. He had wanted to release his technology to the world, for everyone to use. He put away anything that had to do with their friendship, including photographs and mementos, and changed his name back to Miles. He was trying to forget Sonic completely, as Sonic had forgotten him completely.

He stopped calling me soon after that, and didn't call me back when I tried to reach him. So our friendship had gone into the wind with Sonic. I guess none of us realized how much Sonic held us together until then.

Sonic has not tried to contact us.

Until now I hadn't realized how dull and lonely my job was. Eggman's kind of on the lam for now, we don't know why. But we thought it had something to do with Sonic. So guarding the Emerald is damn boring. No one tries to steal it. No one but me's been here for a few years now, except for Sonic and Tails a few times. When I was a kid it was a big, dangerous job I was special enough to do. Now I do my training exercises and watch the Emerald and almost wish for someone to try to steal it, so that this damn boredom can be interrupted for a while.

My life is kind of pathetic nowadays, actually.

So when I hear the phone ring this morning I'm very sadly excited. Maybe something's actually going to happen for once.

"Knuckles, I need you to do something for me, please."

"Sure, what's up?" I ask.

"I…I need you to find Sonic."

"No."

I hate Sonic for what he did to Tails. I do understand why he did it, but it wasn't fair to leave him behind like that, to just take off without saying goodbye. He tore the kid's world apart.

"Knuckles, it's…it's an emergency."

"Why don't you do it? You've got the plane." The plane he built for Sonic. "Besides, you know him best."

"No, I don't have the plane. I sold it. And if I knew him that well I would already know where he is. And I don't."

He sold the Tornado?

I realize just how deep his hurt runs. He was so upset by Sonic leaving that he tried to cut Sonic completely out of his life to deal with it.

I never thought he would sell his first plane.

"Knuckles?"

I forgot I was on the phone for a minute. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, but…I really need him right now. I know you don't like what he did…I'm not asking you to be friends again. I just need you to get him to come here for a while. You don't have to see him or anything. It's me. I…I can't do this without him."

"Do what?"

"It's my dad, Knuckles…he's sick, really sick. He…he could die, Knuckles, and I…I really need Sonic, Knuckles. Please."

I just stand there and stare at the phone.

What did Tails do to deserve this?

First he loses his mom in a car accident, and very nearly loses his dad too. Three months later, he loses Sonic when Sonic…uh…suffers wanderlust, I guess. And now his dad is dying, and he's about to lose him too.

"I'm on my way."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I thought we had dodged that bullet.

See, his dad was in the car accident with his mom, and he almost lost his dad then too. Tails holds family pretty close. So I can see why it's so important to Tails to have his best friend help him through the possible death of his dad.

"So what's up?" I ask him, finally arriving at his place after several long hours of anxious thought. He's sitting on the front porch but gets up and goes into the house when I get there. I follow him into the living room. He sits on the couch but I stay standing. He wrings his hands together. I wait for him to speak. I'm trying to be patient but I've been thinking about this for hours and I kind of want to know what's really going on, now.

"He has the flu," Tails says finally. I feel relieved and a little annoyed. "Well, that's not so bad," I say. "He'll make it through that no problem."

"He's had it for a week and a half now. He hasn't gotten any better. And he has a high fever and coughs all the time. Those are all signs that point to a bigger problem."

Okay, I was a little too hopeful for a happy ending, I guess. "Have you called anyone yet?"

"I called Dr. Quack and had him come and take a look at my dad. He thinks dad has pneumonia but needs to do some x-rays and stuff to make sure. He definitely thinks dad should go to the hospital."

"So why haven't you?"

"Dad refuses to go."

"Um…why? Doesn't he know how much trouble he could be in?"

Tails gives me a look, as if I should already know. "My dad's a general, Knuckles. He didn't get there by giving up every time there was a problem. And to admit that he's that sick would count as giving up. Going to the hospital and having all those people take care of him…that'd be giving up, big time."

He looks down at his hands.

"I know it sounds stupid…but to my dad, being strong is a big part of who he is. It's like S…it's like you. You never admit you've lost a fight, even when it's obvious to everyone. You just keep fighting."

I wonder what he was going to say about Sonic. "I think I get it. I wouldn't want to go to a hospital either. I understand how he feels, I think."

"I have to convince him, soon. My dad's old, Knuckles, and I know his health isn't that good. No one's is after being in the army that long. Pneumonia would kill him. Pneumonia after the flu…a lot of people die from that."

"He seriously is not considering all of this?"

"Of course he is."

"Well, then what's the hold up?"

"He has to get over his pride, I guess. That can be pretty hard. To admit you're wrong."

I get that too.

We just sit there for a few minutes. I'm trying to think of how I could be convinced I was wrong, if it were me. I have to admit there isn't a lot that could move me until the last minute.

"Sonic could talk him into it," Tails says suddenly.

"Sonic could sell ice to Eskimos," I agree. "Is that why you want me to find him?"

"No. You wouldn't do it in time. Sorry if I'm insulting you by saying that, but it's true. You'd have to find Sonic within a few days, and you have no idea where to start. I don't know why I said that."

"You miss him." I say it as a statement, a fact. So that he can't argue it.

"I'm not used to being strong," he says. "I don't think I'm doing a good job." He blinks and sniffs a little, and I realize like an insensitive idiot that he's probably been trying not to cry this whole time. I hope he doesn't, though. I don't deal with emotions very well.

"Listen. You try and convince your dad and I'll go and try to track down Sonic. I'll come back tomorrow afternoon and we'll see what happens then. Okay?"

"I guess we have a plan," says Tails. He doesn't sound too convinced, but I'm not either. The plan is so full of holes it may as well BE a hole.

"See you tomorrow, then," I tell him, and walk onto the porch. I don't realize he's behind me until he says, "Knuckles."

I turn around. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming," he says. He looks really sad. I know he wishes I was Sonic right now, and I feel a twinge of jealousy that I'm not good enough, that I never measure up to Sonic. Then I remember just how close they used to be.

"I'll find him for you. There's nowhere he can hide that I can't find him," I promise.

"I just hope you find him in time," Tails says.

"In time for what?"

"My dad doesn't know Sonic left," he says. "He thinks I have someone to…to depend on. When I moved back in I didn't tell him why, and he didn't ask."

"Your dad's not stupid. He probably guessed."

"Knuckles, my dad doesn't know about any of it. He thinks we're still friends like we were before. He thinks that I moved out because Sonic got busy doing adventurous things and I got lonely. Which is kind of true. But I don't want him to find out. I know it's wrong to say that, but if he knows that he'll worry about me, more than he's already going to, and he doesn't need that kind of stress. If Sonic doesn't show up when my dad's in the hospital, THEN he'll know. And I don't want to know what's gonna happen if he finds out. He'll be upset with me for hiding it, that's for sure."

"I think you need to talk to your dad more often," I tell him. "If he knew about it he would have tried to help you."

Tails rubs at his eyes. "I know I should've, but…it hurt, Knuckles. I didn't want to think about him anymore."

I shake my head. Tails has gotten himself into such a mess I don't know how he'll get out of it in one piece. Hell yeah his dad's gonna find out. His dad was known as the conductor of the battlefield. He puzzles things out very well.

"I'll get going," I say. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah," says Tails.

"And Tails? I know you don't wanna worry him…but he's your dad. He's SUPPOSED to worry about you. That's his job. To be there for you when no one else is. He's not made of glass. He won't break."

I close the door and head down the steps and around the back of the house. Tails lives on the very outside of the city, walking distance to civilization but away from other houses, and I figure I can catch the bus into the city. I don't feel like walking and they usually let me on, considering my reputation.

As I'm walking I see a new prefab shed behind the house, about half the size of a gymnasium, and decide to take a look. Tails could be using it as a workshop, and I'd like to know if he's returning to his old self or not.

I'm stunned by what I see.

It's a cream-coloured Cadillac, one of those old-looking ones with the fins on the back. It has chrome rims and dark red leather seats. Right now the hood is up, and the engine block is all gleaming metal under a thin coating of dust. At one time this was a nice car.

I'm saying this because as I walk around the car, I realize what car this is and why it's in here. The right-hand passenger side is completely smashed in and the car is leaning a little to the left due to the useless front left tire. The windshield has a spiderweb of cracks spreading up from the bottom right corner.

How is Tails planning on getting his dad to the hospital? There's no way this car is getting them there, even if it were possible to drive it. You can't drive a car with the door crushed in like that. You just can't.

As I'm sitting on the bus it occurs to me:

If the car still looks like that, Amadeus hasn't driven since the accident. Because I do know that Rosemary didn't have a car.

Whether he realizes it or not, I think Amadeus is afraid to get into a vehicle at all.

I'll try and remember to ask Tails whether or not his dad has been in a car since the accident.

One thing has become clear to me:

I have to find Sonic.

Fast.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Tails just looks at me.

"I don't think I can convince him. I'm sure he thinks it's going to get better, but it's not. He's pretending he doesn't, but I know he has a headache now. He's more tired than ever. It was hard for him to stand up long enough to make his tea this morning, I could tell. But he refuses to admit it."

"Well, I don't know," I say, tired and frustrated. "Nothing I'm gonna say will change his mind."

We just sit there in silence. Tails is breathing shakily. He's really scared his dad won't go.

"So you DO know how to leave the house."

Tails jumps and looks around as if he's been caught stealing cookies he's not supposed to eat. "Oh hi dad," he says in an unconvincing attempt to be casual.

I move over a bit and Amadeus sits down between us. I can hear a dull rasping noise as he breathes. He coughs into a handkerchief for a minute, then looks at Tails.

"I'm sorry, son."

Tails looks surprised. "Uh…for what, dad?"

"For being a stubborn old idiot, of course."

"You're not an idiot, dad."

"Of course I am," says Amadeus. "I've been needlessly worrying you for nearly a week now. I need to get over my pride and get on with it." He coughs again and rubs his eye. His hands are shaking.

"So...so you're ready to go?" Tails says hopefully.

"Not exactly _ready_...but I'll go," says Amadeus. Tails looks at him for a minute, then hugs him tightly. Amadeus seems to know this is coming and hugs him back with his left arm. The other is clenched tightly in his lap, wrapped around his handkerchief.

"How are you getting there? You don't have a car," I say. Tails gives me a look that says Shut Up Idiot, but Amadeus only looks surprised. "Yes I have," he says. "It's in the-"

He stops and his face goes blank. "No. I haven't got a car at the moment," he says in a dead voice.

"It's okay. I'm sure there's someone we can borrow one from," says Tails before the silence gets too loud.

"I'll try to call Amy," I volunteer, kind of uncomfortable around Amadeus. He's even more a stranger to me than he was before. There's just something about him that makes me uneasy. I think it has something to do with the fact that he gives off the impression that he knows everything.

I go into the house, hunt down my phone, since I always leave it lying around and I can never find it, and call Amy. She doesn't answer. I'm a little stumped, then decide to text her like I should have done in the first place. Like everyone these days, she answers the text but not the call. After a bit of confusing back-and-forth because I can't text worth beans, she says she'll come right away.

"So why exactly won't you tell me where Sonic ended up?" Amadeus is saying as I head back outside. Tails looks at him like he just went invisible.

"Well - how - how do you know about that, dad?" he stammers.

Amadeus sighs and rubs his forehead. "Son, when you come home with no explanation and don't bring Sonic with you, it's obvious that he took off."

I'm impressed. This guy doesn't miss anything.

"I suspect your not telling me has something to do with not causing me to worry about you, any more than I already do, in the event that I have an extended stay in hospital and you will be at home by yourself, in severe emotional distress."

Tails just looks at him. I start laughing.

"Well dad," Tails says finally. "I just don't know what to say."

"Come now, Miles," says his father, coughing a little, "I'm _supposed_ to worry about you. That's my _job_. If I don't worry about you I'm doing something wrong."

"That's what Knuckles said," said Tails sheepishly.

"I'm so glad you took his advice," says Amadeus, trying and failing to say this deadpan.

"Well I - I just don't want you to end up worse, dad."

"If I get any worse it's my own damn fault for being so stubborn. It has nothing to do with you. You've been more helpful than I deserve."

"Well I - I could've -"

"Miles," says Amadeus quietly, "not even your mother could have convinced me."

We both know it took a lot for him to say that.

"I'm sorry, Miles," says Amadeus. "Please don't blame yourself for any of this, or for anything that happens. You did your best, tried to do what was best for me, and I refused to listen. What happens now happens, and it's entirely my own fault."

"Okay dad," says Tails, but Amadeus and I both know that he holds himself responsible anyway.

"Did you reach your friend?" Amadeus asks, and it takes me a minute to realize he's talking to me.

"Uh...yeah, she'll be here soon."

"Which one is she again? The fox?"

"No dad, Amy is the hedgehog," Tails says, slightly incensed about the mention of Fiona. But seeing as Amadeus hadn't been around when all that went on, you couldn't really blame him for not knowing.

"Oh yes, the girl with the hammer, Sonic's girlfriend," says Amadeus, who seems to be oblivious to the fact that everything he's bringing up is not good for conversation.

"Amy is not Sonic's girlfriend. He doesn't have a girlfriend."

Amadeus looks surprised. "He doesn't? Why ever not? Isn't he at that sort of age?"

"Yes," says Tails, drawing the word out and continuing as if talking to a child, "I don't know why Sonic doesn't have a girlfriend, dad. I guess he can't love anyone else more than he loves himself."

I see Amadeus's expression flicker for a moment, then I realize that he _does_ know what he's doing. He's fishing without asking Tails directly, knowing he probably won't offer up any information about Sonic leaving freely.

I suppress a shudder. I'm glad he's not _my_ dad. There's no hiding anything from him.

We just sit there for a minute. Tails is pissed, I'm getting uncomfortable again, and I have no idea what Amadeus is up to because he's still pretending to be pleasantly senile. Every now and then he coughs or kneads his forehead a little. His hand stays clenched in his lap.

Thankfully Amy shows up not too long after that. Luckily she's not driving her Beetle. That wouldn'tve worked out so well.

"Hop in!" she says. Obviously none of us feel like hopping right now but we get into the car with varying degrees of reluctance. Out of the corner of my eye (I don't want to look like I'm staring, of course) I see Amadeus look at the car like he wants it to disappear, then slowly climb into the back seat. Although that may have had more to do with his age than any reluctance to get into the car.

I don't want to sit in the back because I feel so awkward around him, so I duck into the front of the car instead. When we're all somewhat settled Amy starts driving.

After a minute Amadeus says, "So how have you been, Amy?"

"Oh, swell," she says. "I have a new job, school's going great, got a couple of new friends..."

"Oh really?" says Amadeus. "Such as?"

"Well, I've got this penpal now," says Amy. "He's really nice. I used to write to him a lot, but now I just write him when I have a problem mostly. I know it's not really fair but usually I forget. He's so nice about it though, he just helps me and that's it. He's great at giving advice."

"That's lovely," says Amadeus. "It's nice to have someone you can count on." He coughs wetly for a minute but doesn't continue.

"What have you guys been up to? I haven't heard in you in forever!" Amy exclaims. I'm kind of jealous that she's so peppy and happy while we're all sitting here stewing in misery.

"Oh, you know. The usual."

"Really? Nothing new?"

"Nothing at all," says Tails. "Nothing."

In the rearview mirror I see Amadeus look at Tails for a moment. We hit a pothole and I actually see fear on his face for an instant of an instant, so small that if I didn't know what went on I wouldn't have noticed. He clears his throat and says, "Amy, have you heard from Sonic lately?"

"No," says Amy. "I haven't. But that's okay. He'll either come back or I'll move on. I'm happy to sit back and wait and see what happens."

"That's an interesting philosophy," says Amadeus.

"Well it's better than crying my eyes out every night, thinking about the girl he picked over me," says Amy, somehow managing to be cheerful about this too. There's no sign whatsoever that's she's faking it.

"I wish Miles would take the same view as you do," Amadeus says quietly.

"Dad, I don't think we need to talk about that right now," Tails says.

"I think we do," says Amadeus. "Why don't you talk to your friends about your problems? If you keep them inside your head there's only you to solve them. If you couldn't solve a math problem, would you just keep plugging away at it yourself forever or would you go for help?"

"I've never met a math problem I couldn't solve," says Tails. "And every problem can be approached like a math problem. I'll deal with it, dad."

Amy makes a rather sudden left turn and Amadeus breathes in sharply.

"Sorry," she says. "I always get in the wrong lane by accident when I go this way."

"That's quite all right," says Amadeus, but another glance in the mirror shows me that he's getting more uncomfortable with every second. Tails seems to be oblivious, staring out the side window like his life depends on it. He must really be angry with Amadeus right now.

We all stop talking and I'm not even paying attention to the world around me anymore when suddenly I almost get my head taken off by a sudden stopping of the car. Amy has slammed on the breaks so hard I think the seatbelt bruised my ribs.

"Ow," I say.

"Amy, my dear," says Amadeus, out of breath, "I need you to-to not go anywhere for a moment, if you please."

"Huh?" says Amy, thinking she has accomplished something by stopping for a red light at the last second.

"Just-just don't go anywhere is all I mean," says Amadeus, and he opens the door and all but falls out.

"Oh my gosh!" says Amy. "Is he alright? I didn't know he was that sick."

"He-no, it's something else," says Tails. "Pull over for a minute, will you, Amy? I'll just be a minute."

He jumps out and runs over to his dad.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," says Amy. "It's just they have a camera there, and if I get another ticket my mom's gonna freak out..."

I'm really glad to hear she gets a lot of tickets.

We both get out after she's pulled the car over and put the panic lights on. Tails is sitting in front of Amadeus, who is on his knees, breathing hard between fits of coughing.

"Dad, it's alright," Tails is saying. "It...it's not gonna happen again. It was just a red light. There was a camera. She didn't want to get caught."

Amadeus just keeps coughing.

"Oh Amadeus, I'm so sorry," says Amy in a scared sort of voice, like she's afraid he's going to hit her or something. "I just didn't want to get caught..."

"No, it's all right," says Amadeus as soon as he can breathe again. "It was...it was something else."

"What was it?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

I guess we've all decided it's not the best time to bring up what he just said about having people help you solve your problems. Although dealing with your friend not coming home is a bit different from dealing with being in a car accident where you watch the person you love most die.

"I'm sorry," says Amadeus, and he straightens a little. "I'm all right now. Is it much farther, Amy?"

"N-not too far," says Amy. "Only a couple of minutes."

"Splendid," says Amadeus. "The sooner I get this over with the better."

We all get back into the car and me and Amy sit there in silence while Tails and Amadeus talk very quietly. I don't think I would've known what they were saying anyway. I'm pretty sure they were speaking kitsune.

We get there soon enough and Amy does not get out when she pulls up to the drop-off zone. Amadeus turns to her.

"Thanks very much," he says. "Don't worry yourself, it was an oddity I have to clear up. It had nothing to do with you."

Amy smiles.

"Yeah, well, I think I'll take it as a sign," she says.

"Of what, may I ask?"

"That I need to work on my driving."

Amadeus laughs.

"I think that might just work in your favour," he says. "I bid you good day. Thank you again."

"No problem," says Amy. "Call me anytime."

She heads off and we go into the hospital. Tails makes Amadeus sit with the other people who are waiting to be admitted, which he vehemently doesn't want to do, and goes up to the counter to get the paperwork. I go with him. He's kind of underage so I'll be there to clear anything up if I have to.

There's no trouble and after an hour or so of waiting and people giving Amadeus dirty looks for coughing so much (there are points where he actually can't stop to save his life), they finally give him a room to stay in. Man that was the longest hour of my life.

"They gave you the middle one, dad," says Tails.

"Splendid," says Amadeus. "That's the best place to be."

"Uh...why?" I ask. I sure wouldn't want the middle bed.

"Well, it's like a sandwich, and I'm the filling," says Amadeus. "I'm the best part."

"Oh dad," says Tails, but he doesn't sound exasperated, he sounds kind of sad. I'm still confused, since Amadeus doesn't usually say things like that, but I guess there's gotta be a whole side of him I've never seen.

"Well think of it this way then," says Amadeus. "I can talk to both of the other people in this room without shouting. I can both see out of the window and the door. And I have two curtains instead of one. I've kind of got it made."

"Sure dad," says Tails. "Whatever you say."

"I sense a lack of conviction," says Amadeus.

"Your radar is acting up again."

"Damn," says Amadeus. "You've got me again. Must you keep pointing out my faults, Miles?"

"If I don't, who will?" says Tails, but I can see that he's cheered up a little. "Sit down before you fall down, dad."

"Don't be silly, son," says Amadeus. "I have stood for days on end, a few more minutes won't make a difference."

"You did that ten years ago," Tails said. "Now sit down."

"It was not ten years ago," Amadeus protests, but sits down anyway.

"Your mind is going. It was so ten years ago."

Amadeus sits there and looks up, doing a little math in his head I guess.

"Egad," he says, coughing, "it truly was ten years ago."

"Told you."

"Miles, what have I told you about gloating?"

"Nothing."

Amadeus looks at me.

"You see what happens when your son is more intelligent than you are? He knows all the loopholes. He's only a child and already he has bested me."

"You're good at what you're good at and I'm good at what I'm good at," says Tails, sitting down next to his dad and looking at his hands. "Sometimes I win and sometimes you win. It's...it's the only way I'll learn."

"Learn what? To exchange pointless, potentially harmful barbs?"

"No," says Tails quietly. "It's the only way I'll learn to be clever like you."

Amadeus clears his throat a little and looks at the ground, then looks back at Tails.

"You are quite clever already, you need not study from me."

"I have to learn everything I can, before..."

Amadeus sighs, a thin noise coming from his chest as he inhales. "Son, I'm not going to die. I got through my idiocy and now we'll get on with the rest of this unpleasantness. I've been in far worse danger before."

"No, you haven't. Only 50% of people make it through this, 50% of young people where it's caught early. In the rest of the general population, it's overwhelmingly fatal."

"I didn't get where I am today by fretting over death rates," says Amadeus briskly. "I was supposed to die 40 years ago and I'm still around. And believe you me, Miles, believing you'll make it is half the battle fought and won."

Tails looks at Amadeus. "You're still not taking this seriously."

"I am," says Amadeus. "Why would I go into this acting as if I'm already dead? I may as well leap out of the window!"

"You're on the first floor," I put in helpfully.

"Well the way Miles is presenting it to me I'll probably be one of the 2% of people who land on their necks doing so!" says Amadeus. "Really now. I've been told I'm going to die of illness before. I will do what I always do, and come out of it maybe a little weakened, but out of it nonetheless."

"What do you always do?" I ask.

"Fight," Amadeus says simply. "That and only that, day and night until I am successful. It gets to be trying at times, but only rarely have I met a battle I have not won."

"Well you've sure convinced me," I say. "But I've got to get going. I've got something I've got to do."

"Off you go then," says Amadeus. "Thank you for your help, Knuckles."

"I'll be around," I say to Tails, but he doesn't answer me.

Oh geez. I think he's hitting his breaking point.

I don't want to be around when _that_ happens.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"I'm beginning to think you actually can sit next to me forever and not say a word," says my dad. We're sitting on the windowsill and watching the cars go by.

"What's there to say. You've already made up your mind about it, and you're right, and your way is always the right way, so why would I even bother?"

I'm so mad at him right now. I mean, I'm doing all I can do help him out, and he just keeps acting like it isn't really happening. Well, it is! This is blinding reality here! And he just keeps acting like it's another battle he's as good as won. Well maybe he could go at it that way under different circumstances, but the fact of the matter is that his health is terrible. It's like going into battle with a whole bunch of tired and wounded soldiers. Sometimes you just can't make them do what you want.

Of course, dad always was able to rally a whole bunch of tired and wounded soldiers into doing whatever he wanted them to do, so maybe that has something to do with it.

"I do listen, son," my dad says quietly. "But I just don't see the point of going to hospital with the attitude that this is probably going to be the death of me. I would rather give this everything I have, and if I resign myself to my fate that isn't going to happen."

I look at him. I guess we're doing our best to understand each other and coming up short.  
"Sorry," I say.

"There's nothing to apologize for," says my dad gently. "You're tired, you're worn out, you're worrying far more than is good for you, and on top of all that you have to try and handle me. So there's plenty of reason for you to be a bit short at the moment."

"Yeah," I say, and like I have to do sometimes, I remind myself that my dad is trying and he does care, but he does things in such a different way from me that sometimes it feels like I'm dragging him along behind me.

"Did I embarrass you, son, when I- when I had to-"

"No," I assure him. "No, you just scared the wits out of me."

He sighs. "Dear me, I seem to be mucking everything up lately."

"Well, it's okay dad, you've got a good excuse."

He looks at me strangely. "And what would that be?"

"You're old."

He laughs, but it's ruined by another fit of coughing. After he rubs his face a little.

"What's up?"

"Do I want to tell you?"

"Of course you do."

"This is wreaking havoc on my throat," my dad admits. "It's going to get so that I won't want to cough at all."

"Well you have to," I say. "Later on you have to."

"I know that," he says. "I've seen it before."

He looks at me.

"I've seen people die of it before."

Suddenly I'm going to cry. He does know exactly what's what, and he's dealing with it the only way he can. I shouldn't have tried to make him do it like I would. He can't. He's not like me.

"Dad, if I lose you, I-I'll have lost everything."

He just looks at me and nods.

I rub my eyes a little. I don't want to cry in front of him. I don't want to make him feel bad. But then he reaches over and hugs me, hard, and I can't not cry, and I hug him back so tight I almost can't feel my arms. I can feel him trying not to cough, can hear the strangled breaths working up through his body, but I need to trust that he knows how much he can take. When I think I'm okay I let go and he holds on an extra second or two before turning away to cough violently into his handkerchief. I hadn't noticed until now how tired he is. He's starting to shake and coughing requires more effort.

He turns back to face me.

"I hope that was at least a little beneficial to you," he says. "My son, I am not incapacitated. I can still help you if you need something. Don't shut me out. Don't hide things from me so soon. You don't need to."

"Alright," I tell him. "But you have to trade."

"Trade what?"

"You have to stop hiding things from me. You have to stop pretending you're okay. You're not. You're worse off than you're allowing me to see. Dad, I know you're strong, okay? But I want you to stop acting now. You don't have to. I want to know how you're really feeling. I can't help you if you're pretending."

He looks at me and nods.

"All right," he says. "We'll make the trade then."

"Good," I say. "Don't back out on me now."

"Heavens no," says my dad. "It means I can rest now."

"Huh?"

"I'm exhausted," he says. "I just didn't want to go to sleep and leave you here by yourself. I knew you were very upset but I didn't know what you wanted me to do about it."

"You did fine," I said. "You want to go to bed?"

"Please," says my dad. "I haven't been so tired in so long."

He needs a bit of help getting across the room. He's so tired he can't walk straight. I pull down the sheets for him and he sits down slowly, then lies on his side, eye already closed. I push his shoulder.

"Dad, you have to lie on your back," I tell him. "It'll be easier for you to breathe."

For a minute I don't think he's heard me. It's possible that he's already asleep. But then he shifts slowly onto his back and turns his head to the left. I cover him with the sheet.

"I'll be here if you need anything," I tell him.

"No."

"What?"

"Go home, Miles. Go eat something, get some rest, then come back. If you must. Don't centre everything around me just because I'm in hospital."

"I will not leave you here by yourself, dad. I'd rather worry about you here than at home."

"Go take care of yourself and then come back."

"Okay."

He looks at me through a half-closed eyelid. I don't think he expected me to agree with him so fast, but I can see he's really exhausted and I'd rather just do it and get it over with rather than stand here and argue why I shouldn't.

"Thank you," he says, not really awake.

I stand in the doorway for a minute. I've never seen him so tired.

I know I said I wanted to know how he was feeling. All of it, with none of it hidden or left out. But I'm still scared to see him like this, admitting to me that he can't even handle sitting by a window. He's been out of bed for two hours and already the day has worn him out. I'm so afraid of leaving him alone. I know it's silly, he's in a hospital and all, but I feel like I'm the only one who can really care for him, the only one who has an inkling of what's going on in his head.

Then I think of how much better mom would have done if she were here. He's got to be really missing her right now. She always knew how to handle him. She did understand him. She could make him do anything, because she always knew what to say.

Oh mom, why didn't you make it? I need you now more than ever. Dad needs you now.

I wish she could come back to take care of him, and then leave again. She'd do a better job than I ever would. I wouldn't even go near when she was there. I would stay away while she made it better. I would leave her for him. I would have to bother Sonic a lot more, but-

When I do that to myself, when I have to remember that Sonic is all but dead to me now, it feels like someone took a knife that's just barely sharp enough to cut and thrust it straight at my heart.

I wrench my mind off Sonic and look at that bed in the middle of the room.

"I love you dad," I say, even though I know he can't hear, and I run off. I want to be with my dad and the sooner I do what he asked, the sooner I can come back.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

This is impossible.

How to you track down someone who hasn't left a trace?

He has no credit card. He has no bank account. He doesn't seem to be employed and he  
doesn't own any property. Short of actually running into him somewhere, it looks like  
I'm never gonna find him.

Looks like I have to call in the Chaotix.

I hate calling in the Chaotix. It makes me feel like an idiot. I'm sorry, but the three  
of them are so ridiculous that I feel like a failure when I have to call them.

They deliver the results, though, I'll give them that.

Reluctantly I pick up my phone and dial Vector.

"Yello?" he yells in my ear.

"Vector, how many times have I told you not to yell when you answer the phone? How many  
clients have you scared off?"

"Uh…I'm not sure…"

"Well, stop doing it. You guys are always complaining that you're broke."

"Speaking of that…our rent's due and I don't have two cents to rub together…"

"Sell your headphones, your rent's not my problem."

"Darn it Charmy!" Vector yells. "I told you we couldn't afford to order that caviar on  
toast last night!"

"Well how was I supposed to know?" squeals Charmy in a really shrill voice. "Knuckles  
usually helps us out!"

"Not when you're scaring your customers away with your fish breath," I tell him. "But  
guess what. I've got a job for you."

"YAHOO!" yells Vector, and I have to switch my phone to the other ear because I'm going  
deaf.

"SHUT UP MORON!" I yell at him. "How you keep any customers is far beyond me."

"Sorry boss," says Vector. "Give me the deets."

"I need you to track down Sonic for me."

"Why, is he missing?"

"Kind of."

"Whereabouts do you think he is?"

"If I knew 'whereabouts' he was, I wouldn't be calling you, now would I?"

"Well I don't know, maybe you're busy."

"I'll keep looking, but you're going to be looking harder."

"Sure thing. Uh…could you pay us half up front, do you think?"

I sigh.

"Fine, fine. Just get started right away. This takes priority over anything else you  
guys have to do, okay?"

"Oh sure, boss. We'll get started right after you hang up."

"Good," I tell him, and hang up.

I go outside and sit on a bench. I'm in Station Square (well, where else would I be?)  
and I was using a payphone. I lost my phone again. I'm guessing I left it at Tails's  
house.

I start wandering around the square, and I have no idea where to look next. I decide to  
go to Amy's place. She's usually good for some cookies.

It takes me a while to get there, since I got on the wrong bus again by accident, but  
after a while I get there and she happens to be home. (What a coincidence, huh?)

"Hi Knuckles!" she exclaims like she hasn't seen me in years. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," I say. "How're you?"

"I'm doing great," says Amy. "I'm going to work in an hour or so, but you can stay here  
if you want."

"Thanks," I say. "Hey, have you made any cookies lately?"

"Why, yes I have," says Amy. "Would you like some?"

"Yeah," I tell her, and I sit on the couch.

After an hour or so of peanut butter cookies and small talk, Amy skips outside and  
merrily goes off to work. I actually can't handle her for more than an hour at a time.

I'm just sitting there on the couch wondering what to do next, bored out of my mind, when  
I see this stack of papers on the table. I'm a nosy guy who has no respect for privacy  
whatsoever, so I pick them up.

"Hey:

I know I haven't written in a while, but I'm having this problem and I think you can help  
me."

They must be the letters from her penpal.

Well, I'm bored, may as well give them a read.

"My new manager is harassing me."

Oh God. Poor Amy.

"He keeps asking me out on dates. I keep telling him no, and I try not to talk to him if  
I don't have to. I'm not happy there anymore. He keeps telling me I'm beautiful and  
that we should meet for coffee or something, but I don't want to. And I'm scared of  
telling anyone because I don't want to lose my job. Is there anything I can do? Or do I  
have to put up with this forever?

From Amy"

There's a paper folded around it and I take a look. It's the reply to the letter I just  
read.

"Hey Amy!

I'm sorry to hear that he's treating you like that. But you know what? No job is worth  
that. Don't compromise yourself for that lout, Amy. You have to tell someone, or you  
have to find another job. From what you've told me it seems like you like your job a  
lot, so I would suggest that you tell someone. Go to the owners, or the labour board.  
You DO NOT have to put up with that. You have to know your rights in the workplace,  
Amy. Please don't quit your job. Please don't give in to that jerk.

Sorry to hear about your problem! But it was great hearing from you. You should write  
to me more often, you know!

From Maurice."

Her penpal's name is Maurice!

I spend a good ten minutes laughing over that one. I can't believe they actually still  
name people Maurice in this world.

The rest of the letters are similar, a couple about Amy's life and how it's going, but in  
the letters there is little to know information about Maurice himself. That seems a bit  
off to me, but I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that Amy likes to talk, and can  
do so nonstop without caring if anyone else has anything to say.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch because next thing I know there's a blaring light  
in my eye and Amy's laughing at me.

"Is my couch really that cozy?" she teases me.

"Uh…yeah…" I say. "Yeah, that's it." Too late I realize I'm still holding the letters.

"Oh, were you reading those?"

"Yeah."

"He's so nice, isn't he? I know I should let him say a few things now and then, but once  
I get started I don't really stop."

"Yeah, he's a nice guy for sure."

She frowns.

"You don't like him, do you."

"Well there's not much about him to like. And besides, his name is Maurice. You can't  
like a guy named Maurice. There's automatically something shady about him."

"He's not shady. He's nice."

"You've never met him. Anyone can be nice on paper. It's face to face where people show  
their true colours."

Amy sits down.

"Look, I get where you're coming from. But I think I'll trust him until he gives me  
reason to believe otherwise."

"Okay then," I say. "If you insist."

Amy has things to do tomorrow and wants to go to bed, so I'm left on the couch by myself  
again. I'm so stumped about where to look for Sonic next. Hopefully the Chaotix will be  
able to help, because all I want to do is sit somewhere in a corner and wait until they  
find him.

My phone rings and I rummage around for it. Look, they've got results already.

"What's up?" I ask.

"We've got a lead," screams Vector. I roll my eyes and put the phone on the table. That  
way Vector can keep yelling and I can keep my hearing.

"Okay," I say. "You following it up in any way?"

"Oh yeah," says Vector. "We think we know the general area he went to."

"Really?"

"Oh, it was really simple," Vector says. "All we had to do was trace the phone calls  
made from the Prower's place around the time Sonic left, and one was to the train station  
in Station Square. That train doesn't make a whole lot of stops, so we can ask around  
for him there. Or do more traces, if we have to."

"Vector, you're brilliant!" I say. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Thank you," says Vector in a rare moment of humility. "We'll get on finding him right  
away, boss, but the station's not open right now. Closed for construction or something."

"Oh God," I say, exasperated. "That damn station just opens and closes as it chooses,  
doesn't it."

"Well it was closed every day except Tuesday last week," says Vector.

"Why was it open on Tuesday?"

"They were giving out free chips at the casino so all the train drivers went there."

"So it was open for like one run."

"Yeah, that's about it," says Vector with a sigh. "Sure makes getting to work on time  
difficult."

"Vector, you live at the detective agency. How could you possibly be late for work?"

"Well I don't live at the burrito stand," says Vector indignantly. "And the only burrito  
stand is 3 miles from here."

"You needed to get burritos that badly?"

"Listen, buddy, don't say no bad things 'bout my burritos!"

"Okay," I say, not wanting to get into an argument about the heavenly properties of  
second-rate road stand burritos. "Just get on that as quick as you can, alright?"

"Sure thing," says Vector. "Soon as that station's open, we'll be there, bothering the  
hell out of everyone who works there."

As far as I can tell that's an A+ reason for keeping the station closed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone, iammemyself here...I just realized I made an error in uploading my chapters. This is the real chapter six, the one I didn't submit the first time, and the next two chapters will be me resubmitting the next two chapters. Please bear with me and thanks for your patience!**

Chapter Six

Three days later I'm able to go see the Chaotix, since the trains have finally started running, and when I walk through the door Charmy starts squawking about how nice it is to see me and how long it's been since we last saw each other, and other silly things about how much he missed me, and Vector's just staring at me like I'm from space. I try not to go to the Chaotix in person. To them it's like God just walked through the door. I don't know why. But it's damn annoying.

"KNUCKLES!" hollers Vector. Yes he's even louder in person.

"Hey," I say. "You got anything for me?"

"Sure do," says Vector. "ESPIO!"

"You don't have to yell," says Espio, appearing out of nowhere beside me. "I've been right here all the time."

"Well how was I supposed to know that?"

"I told you I was going to open the door for Knuckles when he got here."

"Oh." This stumps Vector for a minute. Then he says, "Well, you know my memory ain't that good."

"That's because it's selective," mutters Espio.

"WHAT!"

"I didn't say anything," says Espio.

"Yes you do! You said my memory was selective!"

"If you knew what I said, why did you ask?"

"Because- because- just tell Knuckles what you found!"

Espio turns to me, handing me a slip of paper.

"We believe this to be his phone number," he says. "We haven't called it yet…we wanted to leave that up to you. But we think it's his."

"That's amazing," I say. "Thank you, Espio."

"No problem," says Espio, and disappears.

I walk out of there with the slip clenched in my fist, and look around for a payphone to call it from (I left my phone on the train). After a minute I locate one, but I don't have any change. So I just hit it really hard and enough change falls out for me to make the call.

It rings for a long time. I'm wondering if the phone's off the hook or something because I'm literally standing there for five minutes like an idiot with the phone pressed to my ear, when there's a click and the ringing stops.

"Hello?"

I didn't think I'd be so angry.

Just hearing his voice makes my vision go red and my fists clench so hard the phone cracks.

"Hello? Somebody there?"

I can't speak. I'm just too damn angry.

"Well, whoever you are, I'm gonna hang up now, I don't have all day."

"After making me stand here waiting for you to pick up?"

He's silent for a minute.

"Who is this?"

"What, you don't know?"

"If I knew, would I be asking?"

"You probably would."

"Look pal, I don't have time to play games with you. I've got a shitload of things that have to get done right now, and if you don't tell me what the hell you want I'm hanging up and that's that."

"Tell me," I say, "is there anything you've forgotten to do lately?"

"Sure," he says. "I forgot to not pick up the phone when I don't know who's calling."

"Don't you have some calls you should be making?"

"Probably," he says, "but I don't have time right now."

"To…old friends?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you do."

"Listen, creep, I—"

"No, you listen. Get over your massive ego or whatever the hell it is that makes you such a colossal idiot, and call your best friend."

"I _live_ with him."

"Like hell you do!" I say, and now I'm so pissed I'm all but grinding my teeth together. "Your goddamn best friend is here, where you should be!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Mighty is my best friend and he's gonna be back in ten minutes, only I don't wanna talk to you for that long."

"You fucking asshole!" I yell at him. "Tails, you fucking idiot! Your goddamn little brother!"

"Tails?"

"Yes, Tails!"

"Who the hell is that? And what kind of a name is that, anyway?"

"Listen, shithead," I tell him, and I'm yelling so loud everyone around me is staring. This lady with a buggy is pulling the buggy close to her like I'm gonna attack it. "Stop being such a dick and stop pretending you don't know who I am or who your family is. Get your ass back here before I drag it back for you."

"Why the hell would I want to go anywhere near you?"

"Oh I don't know," I say all sarcastic-like, "because your best friend's dad is dying and like maybe he needs you. But what do I know?"

"You're lying."

"I never tell lies, and you know that."

"YOU'RE FUCKING LYING!"

"Why don't you come here and find out, huh Sonic?"

"I'm not Sonic, I don't know anyone named Tails, Mighty's dad is not dying and I don't know who the fuck you are! So leave me the fuck alone and get on with your ranting someplace else! I have work to do!"  
He hangs up the phone abruptly. I feel like I've been actually fighting him, I'm so angry.

I put the phone back on the thingie it goes on and walk away from the phone super-normal like. This kid is staring at me like I just strangled a kitten in front of him or something.

"What! Didn't your mom teach you not to stare, kid?"

"Yes sir," says the kid, and scurries away.

I start walking. I don't know where I'm going, but now all I can do is wait and hope that Sonic is not really as much of an asshole as he was on the phone. I mean, I know he's a jerk, but I hope he's not so much of a jerk that he actually legit goes around saying he doesn't know who Tails is.

I hope he was just saying that to piss me off.


	7. Chapter 7

**You may have seen this chapter already, previously titled 'Chapter Six'. If you have please ignore it.**

Chapter Seven

I go and see Tails.

It's been six weeks since I started looking for Sonic. And I have been looking. I actually stooped to working with the Chaotix. He had a cellphone but after our little chat he must have started using a different number because the one we had was disconnected soon after. The Chaotix told me he even vanished from Facebook, which was not an easy thing to do as he had over five hundred million friends. But apart from a general idea of the area where Sonic could be, and probably no longer is, we have lost him again.

Why haven't I been to see Tails? I don't want to tell him that I haven't found Sonic yet. His dad can't be getting any better or he would have called me to cancel the deal. And to hear that Sonic is still AWOL is not going to help.

But I'm the only one he's got right now. So I reluctantly catch the last train out of the city to the hospital.

I'm not close enough to 'family and friends' to actually go in to see Amadeus, so Tails has to leave his dad to come talk to me. "I don't mind," he says when I apologize. "He's only sleeping anyways."

"So how's he doing?"

Tails breathes in. "He's…doing. He's in a private room now."

"So not very well."

"No."

People think I'm insensitive because I just ask things, straight up, instead of try to ask them nicely, with gentle words and all that. But if the news is harsh what's wrong with just getting to the point?

"What are his chances?"

"They won't tell me."

"So not too great."

Tails shakes his head. He looks at the floor and grimaces a little, then sits down on the floor. I sit down with him.

"I don't know what to do, Knuckles. I mean, there's nothing I can really do to help. If anything I'm probably making it worse."

"How's that?"

"Well when he…when he can' t breathe and I'm scared and he knows it, how does that help? Doesn't it just make trying to breathe even worse?"

"I guess."

Tails puts his head between his knees.

"Oh Knuckles…I wish…if only…"

"I'm trying," I say. "But he really doesn't want to be found."

"I'm sorry if I'm making you feel bad. I know you're doing your best. But I…I don't think I've ever needed him so much before."

"Tails…there's something I didn't tell you."

He looks at me sideways.

"Like what?"

"We almost found him."

"You did?"

Oh God Tails, why do you have to look so hopeful right now?

"Well, we lost him again. But…I talked to him on the phone."

"What did he say?"

"He…"

Why did I bring this up?

"He said that he didn't know who I was, didn't know who Sonic was, said I was lying when I said his best friend's dad was dying, and…"

I know Tails has never seen me fail so much for words. But I don't want to tell him this. Even if he needs to hear it.

"He said he didn't know who you were."

I have never seen someone look so sad or so disappointed.

"Thanks Knuckles."

"I'll keep trying—"

"No. No, don't bother. Let him get on with his new life. Leave him alone. I'll figure this out. I'll get through this. Don't worry about it anymore. Just…give it up. I don't care anymore."

He gets up and goes back to his dad.

Man.

What I wouldn't give to be Sonic right now.

I get up and stretch a little, then head out of the place.

I'm going to keep looking. I'm gonna keep trying.

I know Tails didn't mean what he said. He's just trying to make it all hurt a little less.

The thing is, I don't know the same thing about Sonic. If he doesn't even call himself Sonic anymore…that would mean he _really_ disconnected himself from his old life.

I'll keep trying.

Sonic is a jerk, I know that and I've always known that, but he has a heart as well. I've seen him do things for people that I don't understand why he did. He can't really disown Tails. He can't.

Can he?


	8. Chapter 8

**You may have seen this chapter before, previously titled 'Chapter Seven'. If you have, please ignore it.**

Chapter Eight

"Where was he?"

"Mm?"

"Sonic. Where was he?"

I look up from my hands. I'm sitting in the chair beside his bed. I've hardly left this chair since he got here. He doesn't like it but at the same time he's glad, if you know what I mean. Like he wishes I would go home and stop thinking about him for three seconds at a time, but he's glad I won't leave.

Well if it were me, I wouldn't want to be alone.

"Dad…Sonic's not coming."

"He's not?"

"No."

Dad coughs a little and rubs at his face. "Why ever not?"

"He doesn't care."

Dad looks at me and I know he's genuinely surprised by this. I know sometimes he pretends age has affected him more than it really has, since that's usually the only way to get certain truths out of me, but hey, I don't understand it either.

"He doesn't care. Is this a new development?"

"Dad, this has been going on for…for four months now. After mom…after the accident, after we got through all that, Sonic stopped caring about anything. He just started to fade. Then one day he left."

"And he refuses to look back."

"Yeah. That's about it."

Dad's just looking at me and it's one of those looks parents give you that makes you uncomfortable.

"Do you really think he's finished with you?"

"Dad, it's pretty obvious that Sonic doesn't give a shit about me! One day he got up, sat on the porch, and then left in the middle of the night without saying anything. He doesn't write. He doesn't call. He hid himself from us. And when Knuckles called him, and told him what's what, you know what he told Knuckles?"

Dad just keeps looking at me.

"He told Knuckles that he didn't know who I was! So do I think he's coming? No. He doesn't care. He only cares about himself. I hate him. I hope I never see him again."

"You don't mean that."

"Yes, dad, I do! I mean it! Fuck Sonic! He can have his…his whatever he's got. I don't want to see him, I don't want to talk to him, I don't want him to exist, and as a matter of fact I hope he gets hit by a train because I wish he was dead!"

"Son, come here a minute." My dad's sitting up a little more and it's only then I realize I'm crying my eyes out. I feel just so…so…I don't know, but not good. Like saying all those things has made something inside me sick and rotten.

I go to my dad and he hugs me. I feel really bad because I know how he feels about me being so worried about him all the time, and I know he's trying to think of what to do if…if he dies and I'm left alone, but there really aren't that many options. He was counting on Sonic coming back. He believed Sonic would come back. But I'm just so scared and worried and I feel so bad inside that I can't stop crying, even though he doesn't need that right now.

"Miles," he says after I calm down a little.

"Yeah dad?"

"I'm going to say something you're not going to agree with."

"Like what?"

"Keep your faith in Sonic."

"Dad, he denied my existence! Why would I keep any faith in him at all?"

He can't talk for a minute. His breath is catching in his throat again and he's getting too weak to cough. When he can breathe well enough he asks, "Did you ever think about _why_ Sonic left?"

"No."

"Think on that, Miles. Maybe there's a reason he left. Maybe there's a reason he's saying he doesn't know you."

"He left because he was bored!"

"No, I don't think that's it."

"Why?"

Dad looks at me and then at the wall across the room.

"You don't cut yourself off from people you love because you're bored."

"Maybe he didn't love me."

"Oh, he does. I would bet my life on that."

"Well I'm not taking you up on that one, dad."

"Maybe you should! I know I'm not doing that well, Miles, but I'm not out of the running yet. Don't worry so much."

"Yeah, sure dad," I say, wiping my face and rolling off him to sit on the bed beside him, "and maybe if I stopped worrying so much you'd get younger."

Dad laughs, but it hurts him and it doesn't last long. But still, making him laugh a little is better than not at all. He yawns and scratches his head.

"You tired there, dad?"

"Unendingly so."

"You want to go to sleep?"

"Hell no, but these things cannot be helped."

I move over and he lays back down more. Not quite lying down, because he actually doesn't want to go to sleep, but enough so that if he does fall asleep he won't be super sore when he wakes up.

"Hey dad?"

"Mm?"

"They said they want to put you on oxygen at night."

He snorts and shakes his head.

"If anything is going to degrade my already sorry performance, that, my boy, will be it."

"Well…you haven't gone through the night without waking up choking for two weeks now. They knew you'd be stubborn about it, that's why they waited so long to mention it. But now they're saying it's kind of really important."

"Kind of really."

"Dad," I say, and I look him in the face and give him my best grown-up-you-better-listen-to-me look, "it's just been luck that you wake up when you can't breathe. A lot of other people just die in their sleep."

"It's a good thing I'm not any of those people, then."

"Dad!"

"Son, if I start using that thing, I'm not going to be able to breathe on my own at all."

"We're just waiting for the medicine to start working right, you know that."

"Mm-hmm."

He sighs and shifts his shoulders a little, shuddering and supressing a cough.

"Stop doing that, dad!"

"Stop doing what?"

"You _have_ to cough, dad. Your lungs are full of mucus. You have to get it out. You know, so you can breathe?"

"Charming," says my dad, but tries not to cough anyway.

"Some old nurse is going to come in and not leave until you do."

"Sounds like fun, but I'm busy at the moment, she'll have to make an appointment."

"And they're giving you a saline drip tomorrow."

"Shit," says my dad, frowning, and he only swears when he's really mad. Which I've hardly ever seen. "So I'm pretty much dead, now, is it?"

"Well…"

He scratches his head again and rubs his eye. "Goddamn, Miles, it looks like I've about had it. I guess you were right."

"About what?"

"I waited too long. I didn't take it seriously. They're going to turn me into a damn vegetable and then it's going to be over." He's fidgeting, looking around like he's in a cage and trying to see if there's a way out. He tries to sit up again but I push him back down.

"Dad, stop. It's going to be fine. Just wait for the medicine to kick in. That's all you have to do."

"If that were the case I wouldn't be getting the saline, now would I?"

"You're getting that because the medicine makes you throw up, dad. That's the only reason."

"Whatever, Miles."

When my dad starts using slang he's really upset. My dad's English is not really that good, because he translates everything over that he needs to say from Kitsune before he says it, and apart from mimicking he actually doesn't understand a lot of it.

"Dad, calm down for a second. It's gonna be okay."

"No, it isn't. I don't want to be a vegetable, Miles, I'd rather be dead."

"Dad—"

"And my being a vegetable isn't good for you either. In the long run it's more beneficial if—"

"Dad, you're not being turned into a vegetable. You have to have a saline and you have to breathe assisted at night. That's it."

"…which turns into during the day as well, until I can't breathe at all!" says my dad, and he's really frustrated. He doesn't like technology and he doesn't trust it. Which is why he lives in a house in the woods and drove a 30 year old car.

"Dad, it's going to be alright. You're not going to be a vegetable. As long as you don't want to be one, you won't be. You know that."

My dad closes his eye, relaxes and breathes in as much as possible, then breathes back out again.

"You're right. I'm being stupid. I'm sorry, I just don't want to be…"

I grab his arm and squeeze it. "Hey, I know. Don't worry about it. But it's like you said, dad, if you go into this believing you've already lost, you're never going to leave."

"Right."

He coughs and his face screws up in pain for a minute.

"You okay?"

"Yes," he says slowly, "it just…it gets more painful every day. That's why I don't do it. It's getting so hard on me."

"Dad, if you don't, they have to put you to sleep and suction it out."

He grimaces.

"Fine, fine, I'll try harder."

He looks at the wall.

"I don't know how that's going to go, however. Because it gets to the point where I just can't do it anymore. I don't have the strength or the will."

"I know. Just do what you can."

All of a sudden he sags back into the pillows and his head drops, his eye barely open. He used up more energy than he can afford.

"Sleep will help, dad. Don't fight it."

"I hate sleeping during the day," my dad mumbles. "Daytime is for doing things, not loafing."

I laugh. "The rules are different when you're sick, dad."

My dad snorts and turns a little to look at me.

"Never been in the army, have you?"

"Uh…no…they wouldn't let me sign up…I think it was because I'm related to that old General Prower guy…"

My dad laughs until he starts choking and then he has a sort of coughing fit before he lays back down again.

"I wouldn't recommend it…"

"Hey, I'll let you sleep, dad. I want to go eat something anyways."

"Excellent, " says my dad. "Don't just say that because you want me to _think_ that's what you're going to do now."

"Nah, I'm not gonna lie."

"Splendid."

I'm closing the door when my dad calls, "Miles?"

"Yeah dad?"

"Remember what I said, son. Keep your faith in Sonic."

"Sure."

"I mean it."

"I know you do."

Oh, dad. You and your outdated ideas of truth and honour.

If only Sonic thought like you.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"Dad, please."

"I can't, Miles. I can't."

"You have to."

"Son, I can't. I just can't. Please stop asking me."

I clear my throat.

Tails jumps about three feet in the air and turns around. "Oh hey Knuckles."

"Can you come here a minute?" I ask him.

"Uh—"

"Yes," says Amadeus, and I look at him and have to look away. I hope no one ever sees me like he is now. When you're hooked up to that many machines it's pretty obvious you're damn sick.

"Dad—"

"Go talk to your friend, Miles."

"But dad—"

"Miles."

Hearing his dad actually raise his voice makes Tails stop in his tracks. Reluctantly he stands up.

"O-okay," he says.

"Thank you," says his dad tiredly, and turns over on his side.

Tails comes out of the room and slowly closes the door.

"Have you left him alone for three seconds, Tails?"

"Yeah," says Tails. "But mostly only when he asks me to."

"He's dying now, isn't he."

"I think so."

"Shit."

Tails sits down on the floor and starts crying.

Oh great. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but I hate it when people cry. I can't handle it and I don't know what to do. I just sit down next to him and stare at the wall like nothing's happening.

After a couple minutes he stops crying and sniffles a little.

"Sorry," he says.

Awkward silence.

"Why are you here?" he asks.

I stare at the wall a bit more, then look at him.

"Because there's no one else," I say.

Tails just looks at me, then says "Oh, Knuckles," and starts crying again. Now I kind of have to do something so I wrap my arm around his shoulders.

I give him a minute, then ask, "What is it your dad can't do?"

"Huh?"

"What you were talking about when I came in."

"He can't cough anymore."

"That's not a good thing?"

"No," says Tails, and the way he says it makes me feel dumb. "That's the reason he's so sick, Knuckles. When you have pneumonia your lungs are full of fluid. You have to cough so you can breathe. But he can't do it anymore."

"Why not?"

"He's not strong enough. He's too tired and doesn't have enough energy."

"Isn't there something they can do about it?"

"He's not going to let them, and even if he does, it's not really going to help. The problem is that he has no strength left. He's just too tired."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'll…I'll just stay with him…until…until he dies, I guess."

He's trying not to cry.

"Damn, Tails, I wish there was something I could do."

Tails stands up.

"Let's go back in with dad, Knuckles. I don't care if they yell at me for bringing you there. He shouldn't be alone and I don't want to be."

He opens the door and we both go into the room. Tails sits down but there's only one chair. I wouldn'tve sat down if there were another anyways.

Tails reaches over and takes his dad's hand. His dad looks at him.

"It's okay. Just go to sleep."

"I'm sorry."

"Dad, don't be sorry. Just keep trying, okay?"

"All right."

Amadeus coughs weakly and closes his eye. He doesn't fall asleep, though; his breath is coming slowly and painfully, and he shakes continually with both the effort of trying to cough and trying not to.

Tails looks at his dad and strokes his dad's hand with his thumb.

"You didn't stop looking, did you."

I'm surprised he wants to bring this up in front of Amadeus.

"No. But we can't find him."

"That's okay. I know you did your best."

"Why are you asking?"

"Dad told me to keep my faith in Sonic."

I roll my eyes. "Nowadays, that's not good fishing, Tails."

Tails glances at his dad. I guess he's trying to figure out if his dad is paying attention or not.

"I don't know why he told me that. I don't know why dad believes in Sonic so much."

"Maybe 'cause he's got a good reason to."

Tails turns around in the chair and stands up so violently that I'm surprised he didn't fall over. I'm also surprised that I didn't fly across the room and deck that jerk squarely in the face like he deserves.

Sonic's standing there in the doorway, wearing a scruffy bomber jacket and a pair of sunglasses propped up over his ears. He's streaked with grease and grime, and instead of his sneakers he's wearing dusty Converse All-Stars.

"Hey guys," says Sonic.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Me and Tails are both standing there with our fists clenched. Out of the corner of my eye I see Amadeus shift onto his back. His breath catches and he starts coughing. We both ignore it.

"What the hell are you doing here?" asks Tails.

Sonic shrugs. "I dunno. I was in the neighbourhood."

He's standing there acting the idiot like he always does, but I know he's already completely and correctly assessed the situation and decided what he's going to do next. In that way he's like Amadeus, in that he can pretend to be the idiot but actually be the smartest person in the room.

Tails walks up to Sonic and tries to hit him. Sonic catches his arm.

"Now's not the time for that, kiddo."

"Who're you to say what's the time for what, huh Sonic! Knuckles called you a month ago! Where the hell have you been!"

"Tails, it's fucking hard to catch a plane out of Downunda, okay? I had to wait two weeks just to get on it, only I got on the wrong one and ended up in—"

"You're kidding. I'm actually supposed to believe this bullshit you're gonna say?"

"Well if you really wanna know you could call the Chaotix. They'll tell ya it's true."

As if on cue, the phone rings.

"KNUCKLES! WE'VE GOT HIM!"

"Uh, Vector—"

"He's in town, Knuckles. He took a plane out of Downunda, the first one that left, ended up in—"

"Vector—"

He just plows through. "—and then he took another one to—"

"Vector, shut up for three seconds will you! I know where Sonic is!"

"Oh."

The last time I heard him sound so disappointed, the burrito stand was out of taco beef.

"Thanks anyway and I'll pay you tomorrow."

"Sure thing boss!" he says. "Just in time to pay the rent!"

Sonic looks at me in that way he does, with his brow raised. "Convinced now?"

"Still doesn't change the fact that you're a jerk."

"No, I guess not." He looks at Tails. "I'm gonna let you go now. Don't try an' hit me again."

"Why not?"

"Because as much of a jerk as I am, I'm here to help ya. An' if we're all getting all angry, no one's gonna wanna help or be helped."

"Stop being such a smartass."

"Stop swearing. You think your dad raised you to talk like that?"

This instantly cows Tails but he says, "My dad didn't raise me, you did. So anything I do is your fault."

"Yeah, and I raised ya not to swear. Same difference."

"You swear all the time!"

"Sonic and Tails are not the same person."

Sonic lets go of his arm.

"I thought…I thought you told everyone you didn't know who I was."

"Yeah. That was really stupid, wasn't it."

I can see Tails has completely lost any anger or resolve he had and is going right back to being the scared little kid he was ten minutes ago.

"You really think so?"

Sonic sighs and looks at Tails.

"Kiddo, I came as soon as Knuckles there started screamin' at me on the phone, didn't I?"

"Yeah," says Tails, and he starts crying. Sonic does the big brother thing and hugs him and tells him it's gonna be okay, even though the kid's dad is lying there

almost certainly dying on the bed. Tails may have forgiven him, but I'm still pissed.

"So you think we're just gonna take it, Sonic? You ditch us and now you come back and expect it to all be the same?"

"Hell no," says Sonic. "I didn't say that. Now shut up. You'll have time to yell at me and tell me what an asshole I am later. And maybe I'll even let you."

"Why would you do that?"

"'cause I'm not as much of a jerk as you think I am."

After a minute Tails stops crying and goes back to sit with his dad. Amadeus has been watching the whole thing.

"Well dad," Tails says, "you were right."

"For once," says Amadeus, his voice scratchy, and he has to take a minute to clear his throat.

"Hey old man," says Sonic like it hasn't been four months since he saw the guy. "What's shakin'?"

"Miles will have to tell you that," says Amadeus. "I'm not sure I'll make it through the telling."

"Aha," says Sonic, and he sits down on the bedside table.

"That's not a chair," I say shortly.

"It is now," says Sonic.

Oh how I hate him.

As Tails tells Sonic what's going on, I imagine all the ways I can do him grievous injury. I think of quite a few ways by the time he's finished.

"Huh," says Sonic. "You ready to kick the bucket there Amadeus?"

"Depends on the time of day."

"Two o'clock."

"Two o'clock today or two o'clock tomorrow?"

"Let's go with tomorrow."

"No."

"So I'm guessin' today was a yes?"

"That's correct."

"You keep pluggin' away at it. I ain't going nowhere."

"I think you should," I say. "I think you should go back to the hole you crawled out of."

"I wasn't born in a hole," says Sonic at the same time as Amadeus says, "Shut up, Knuckles."

We're all staring at him. I don't think he's ever said shut up before in his entire life.

"He's here. That's all that matters. Stop being resentful of his past actions and look at his present ones."

"You can't just forgive the past, Amadeus!"

"No, but you're not going to argue about it anymore. It's not important. That wound has closed. Stop picking at it."

"It has not closed! It—"

"Yes, it has," says Amadeus firmly. "If Miles is willing to let it go, then so must you be. He's the one who lost the most."

Damn I hate that he makes so much sense.

"I kinda do owe you an explanation though," says Sonic. "That the same as that wound thing, Amadeus?"

"No," says Amadeus.

Sonic looks at me.

"You gonna listen and not talk, Knuckles?"

"If I have to."

"Shut up or get out," says Sonic. "I don't wanna tell the story more'n once."

He's pissing me off again. "Who are you to make conditions?"

"It's my damn story, Knuckles. Now shut up."

I swear as soon as he stops talking, I'm going to deck the jerk.


	11. Chapter 11

**If you have a complaint with the formatting, please PM me. I do not like getting negative reviews merely because my formatting does not transfer well from one source to another. Thank you.**

Chapter Eleven

"Actually, it had a lot to do with the accident. See, after Rosemary died and we wen' through all that, I realized just how little I had. I didn't have a dad, or a mom, or a girlfriend, didn't have a home or a purpose, didn't even feel I really had friends. 'Cause you guys are more like comrades, you know? We got together to beat on Eggman and that was it. We didn't see each other. We didn't go out to lunch or play basketball or anything like that. We joined forces and that was it. Even you and me, Tails, in the end there. That was my fault, I know, because I dunno fuck-all about planes an' I couldn't be bothered to learn even though I kinda should've, but I didn't. So I started feeling trapped. I couldn't make myself do nothin' 'cause I didn't see the point. Knuckles and me'd never be friends, I could never go out with Amy, an' Tails had to go on without me or he'd never grow up like he should. So I decided to put it all behind me. I decided to forget everything and go somewhere they'd never know me, where no one would be able to find me, change my name and change myself so I could maybe get ahold of the things I didn't have.

"So what happened was I ended up at the bottom of the world, in Downunda. They didn't know who I was, I was just another wanderer in the desert. So I threw my shoes in the ocean and changed my name an' started a new life.

"It's a lot harder than it sounds. It's real hard to get a job when you ain't got an education or a place, but you can't get a place if you ain't got any money. I didn't realize I needed those things. Back here, everythin' was provided for me. I didn't have to worry about money or how I was going to get enough to eat. It just wasn't important.

"Luckily for me, this guy Mighty noticed I was havin' a real hard time of it, and he let me stay at his place. He let me stay above his garage. He even got me a job, down where he was workin'. It was a pretty dead-end job, doing a bit of landscaping and a bit of maintenance, but it was better than nothin'. After I made a bit I was able to stand up on my own and started payin' him rent. He didn't want me to, but after a while he stopped giving the money back.

"After a bit I got bored of landscaping. It's fucking boring, mowing lawns all day long. So I went to this automotive place and started hanging around there. After a while I started picking things up, and I found out that I really liked fixing cars. So I asked them if they would let me apprentice there. They didn't want to let me because I wasn't going to school, but I convinced them to give me a shot. After a couple of weeks they just stood back and let me do some of the easier work, like oil changes and stuff like that, just in case I made a mistake. Now they let me do a lot of the big stuff by myself. They were pretty pissed actually, me dipping like that, because I was in the middle of putting in a tranny for an '02 Escape, and that's a pretty big job, one I'd been pestering them for for a while. But hell, I'm not such an asshole that I would put replacing a tranny over my little brother."

"But Sonic…why didn't you stay in contact with us? Why didn't you at least call me now and again?

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

Sonic looks sheepish and scuffs his foot on the floor.

"I left my phone at home and I couldn't remember your phone number."

Tails just stares at him like he's nuts.

"You left your phone at home?"

"Yeah."

"Well where is it?"

"I dunno. Under the bed probably, that's where it usually ends up."

"Man, Sonic…" says Tails, and Sonic is all but sinking into the floor now, "you surprise me sometimes, you really do."

"I thought I surprised you all the time."

"Not like this…"

Sonic laughs and puts his foot on the bedrail.

"Well I gotta stop being so predictable, you know."

"I never said you were! It's just predictable that you try to surprise me!"  
"God, this is giving me a headache," says Sonic.

"_Thinking_ gives you a headache," I sneer.

"Most of the time," says Sonic. "That's why I do my best not to."

One thing about Sonic I don't understand is his absolute willingness to admit he's dumb. I mean, most people try to hide it. Sonic, he just waves it around like it's something to be proud of.

"Sonic," says Amadeus, and Sonic is the only one not surprised when he speaks.

"Yeah man?"

"Will you do me a favour?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Will you repair my car, son?"

"No probs," says Sonic. "I'll get right on that soon's I can."

"Thank you," says Amadeus.

"But Sonic, you knew my address and my email. Why didn't you try to contact me that way?"

"I did. Sort of."

"How?"

"I started sending letters to Amy."

I stare at him. "No way."

"Yep."

"_You're_ Amy's penpal?"

"That's right."

"Why Amy?"

"'Cause out of all the people I've been a jerk to, Amy got the worst of it."

"Why the hell did you tell her your name was Maurice."

"Because my name _is_ Maurice."

I start laughing. "What?"

"His name's not Sonic," says Tails. It's Ogilvie Maurice."

"Oh my God! That's got to be the worst name on the planet!" I say, and I can't stop laughing. "Ogilvie Maurice! Were your parents high when they named you?"

"Shut up," says Sonic. "You can't say shit about my parents, you never met them."

"You don't use the name they gave you."

"Just because they gave me a lousy name doesn't mean they're lousy people. Now shut your face."

"I'll think about it," I snicker.

"I'm gonna clock you, I swear to God—"

"Get in line," I tell him. "I'm gonna clock you first."

"Shut up!" says Tails. "Why are you guys arguing over who's gonna clock who? Clock each other at the same time for all I care! Just stop arguing!"

"Sorry buddy," says Sonic. "Knucklehead here got me all worked over nothing."

"It's fine, just stop doing it," says Tails.

"Gotcha," says Sonic. "By the way, I've got something of yours I need to give back."

"You do?"

"Yep. Picked it up for dirt cheap too. Were you trying to insult me? 'Cause I was pretty insulted."

"Uh…I don't know what you're talking about."

"The _Tornado_, Tails. It's worth a hell of a lot more than $300."

Tails jerks around to look at him. "_You_ bought the _Tornado_?"

"Sure did. And just so you know how bad I wanted it," he says, shifting on the table, "I actually borrowed the money to buy it."

"Wow," says Tails. "I…I didn't expect that."

"I know," says Sonic. "Do I owe anyone else any favours?"

Amadeus laughs and Sonic smirks at him. "Hey man, I don't even owe you one."  
Amadeus coughs and says, "Mine's for Miles, Sonic. I don't want him to inherit a useless Cadillac."

"Oh that's right, it is a Caddy," says Sonic. "I might have to go back on that one."

"Why's that?"

"I ain't never fixed a Caddy, old man. I'd just as soon bust it than fix it."

"It's already in disrepair, I don't think it can get much worse."

"I guess that's true, huh?" says Sonic. "I guess I'm not getting out of it then?"

"Of course not. You owe me a favour."

"For what?"

"Don't ask silly questions."  
"Uh…okay…I'll try not to…"

"Dad, I thought we agreed I'm not going to inherit anything just yet," says Tails quickly.

"We don't agree on that until tomorrow at two o'clock," says Amadeus. Sonic laughs and rubs a finger under his nose.

"Sorry Tails, that one's my fault," he says.

"Well at least it's guaranteed," says Tails. Amadeus groans and covers his face.

"Damn it," he says. "Now Ihave to show improvement by tomorrow."

"You sure do," says Sonic, "or I ain't fixin' your car."

"I thought you didn't know how to fix it."

"Hell, if I smack it enough times with a wrench it's bound to run alright."

"Only because it wants you to cease the abuse."

"Lol," says Sonic. Amadeus looks at him incredulously.

"People these days seriously say 'lol' instead of laughing?"

"Sure they do. It's faster."

"Oh my God," says Amadeus, covering his face again, "what has the world come to?"

Sonic yawns and stretches. "Hey Tails, let's leave this old guy alone for awhile and you can help me with his shitbox."

"Well…I don't know…" says Tails. "I don't like leaving him alone."

"He ain't alone. An' you c'n come back later. Does he have to tell ya or can ya make this decision on your own?"

"I have to tell him," says Amadeus.

"Then do it, man, don' wait all day!"

"Miles, go with Sonic."

"But dad—"

"Don't make me raise my voice again, Miles. Go. I promise to start working on that improvement."

"Okay…but you better be improved when I get back."

"I will. Now go with your brother."

Sonic gets up and looks at Amadeus, who is obviously going to sleep.

"In all seriousness, Amadeus…"

"I know," says Amadeus. "I promise."

Sonic starts strolling out of the room with Tails beside him. I'm not gonna hold down the fort, so I start leaving too. Tails waits for me and then closes the door quietly.

"Thanks Knuckles," says Tails. "I owe you one."

"No problem," I say, giving Sonic the stink-eye. He smirks at me.

"See ya later Knux," he says.

"I hope not," I say, and stalk off.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

"You know, Sonic, planes are a lot like cars."

"Huh?"

The damage is pretty damn bad. Mostly cosmetic, but there ain't a lot of vintage Caddy parts floating around. I'll have to call around and see what's what.

"Like they work on the same principles. Well…maybe not _this_ car, but a lot of cars nowadays, you know with spoilers an' all that."

"Mm," I say, scratching the top of my head. "Hey Tails, where're the keys to this thing?"

"It's been sitting there for months, it's not going to turn over."

"You got a battery pack 'round here?"

"No."

How'm I suppose to fix this mother fucker with no tools?

"Well bud, we're gonna have to go into town and get a charger. I'd rather see if the engine works than take it apart. 'Cause I ain't never seen a Caddy engine before. And this car is fucking old, I don't wanna mess with it unless I have to. I can try and bang out the door, but everything else'll have to wait. I mean, where'm I s'posed to get a windshield from just to start?"

"Sonic, don't worry about the car. It's not that important."

I look at him.

"It is to your dad. And I promised your dad I'd fix it. So I'm gonna fix it."

"Okay."

"You still got your workshop stuff or'd you get rid of that too?"

"I still have it. It's just the tech and the planes I got rid of."

"Geez Tails, the tech too?"

"Yeah."

He won't look at me.

"Hey."

He still won't look.

"Tails, I'm sorry for leaving you."

He wrings his hands.

"I know it was wrong, and selfish, and stupid. But you don't understand how I felt. How I feel. An' I know you're gonna tell me that I don' understand how you feel, an' I don't. But don't think I don't care. 'Cause I do."

"Then why did you leave without telling me where you were going?"

"Because you would've wanted to come," I say quietly. "An' if you came, it would've been the same thing I was trying to get away from."

"So you were trying to get away from me."

"No," I say, and even though I've been trying to put this in words to myself for months, I still have to think about how to put it. "I was trying to get away from what you represented."

"What I represented?"

I sit on the side of the Caddy and run my finger over the dusty leather. I'll need to pick up some cleaner for that.

"You would've been too big of a reminder of what I was trying to leave behind. I was afraid that if I told you what I was planning, of what I wanted to do, that you would come with me and it would start all over again. I don't want to feel like that again. It was awful. Why didn't I come an' see you? Because you wouldn't want me to leave. An' neither would I. But I realized that we've both gotta get on with our lives, an' by being here I was stopping that from happening. As long as I stayed here, neither of us was gonna grow up."

Tails jumps up on the side of the car beside me.

"Do you think I'm grown up now?"

"Dude, no one can go through their dad dying, alone, and not grow up."

"Growing up sucks," says Tails.

I laugh. "During the growing up part," I say. "Being a grown-up ain't so bad."

"So you're a grown-up now?"

"Almost. I gotta move out first."

Tails yawns and looks at his hands in his lap.

"You tired, kiddo?"

He nods.

"Then you c'n go to bed, nothing I'm gonna do requires you."

"I don't want to."

"I ain't gonna run away."

"You can't. You threw your shoes in the ocean."

"I could if I_ really_ wanted to. But I ain't gonna. Don't you worry."

"Okay," says Tails. "You're going to keep working on this, then?"

"Probably," I say, and he smiles and says goodnight and heads off.

I do what I can for the car for a while, which isn't that much, and then I go into town to hunt down a battery charger I can use on it. I think I need an older one, but there's a lot of shops with old junk in them and I should be able to find one there.

I'm in town and in the third of these places when I realize that I could just ask Amadeus himself if he's got one somewhere that maybe Tails doesn't know about.

I don't know how I do it, I really don't, but I go to Amadeus's room and no one even tries to stop me, even though I'm obviously not related to him. I hope he's not sleeping. I don't wanna wake him up by accident over something stupid like a battery charger.

And unless he sleepwalks, he is not asleep when I open the door and go in. He's standing in front of the window. He's taken all of the shit out of his arms and just left it to do its thing without him, which is probably not good for him.

"Hey."

He turns around a little.

"Hello, Sonic."

"You pissed at me too?"

He looks puzzled. "No. Did it seem as though I was?"

"Nah, just makin' sure."

"I don't think Miles is angry with you. Just confused and hurt."

"Yeah, we're clearin' that up, don' worry. He went to bed an' I didn't even have to make a deal with him. Other than not running away, which was not in the plan anyways."

"Excellent."

He rubs his face and goes back to sit on the bed. "God I'm tired," he says.

"Then why ain't you sleepin'?"

"I can't breathe," he says. "Not well enough to do it automatically, in any case."

"Huh," I said. "That sounds shitty."

"It is," he agrees. "I was hoping I could open the window and that would help, but it either doesn't open or I'm doing worse than I thought I was."

I go and take a look. "Nah, it don't open," I say. "Probably so you won't leap out the window."

"I'm in no state to be doing any leaping, believe me."

"Aw come on, if you really wanted to…"

Amadeus coughs and says nothing to that.

"Well you're gonna have to sleep, you have that improving to do."

"I…breathe assisted during the night."

"Oh shit," I say. "Okay, I see where the trouble is."

He moves back so he's leaning against the head rail. "Son, you haven't got any idea where the trouble is. But pretty soon they're going to be sucking the crap out of my lungs, because I can't cough it up to save my life. Which is what I'm supposed to be doing."

"So…they're going to… vacuum your lungs, is that it?"

"Pretty much."

"Mm. Sounds nasty."

"I can't wait," Amadeus snorts. "I wish I could begin straightaway."

"I'll call them an' let them know…"

"Do that and I'll find it in me to kill you."

"I don't get it. You seem to be coughing just fine. What's up with the shit in your lungs?"

"I can't cough hard enough. That's what my problem is."

"I wish I could help ya."

"Sonic," says Amadeus, "are you going to stay here now?"

"In this room?"

"No. With Miles is what I meant."

"I don't think so."

"Would you care to explain it to me?"

I sit down at the end of the bed and cross my legs. "See, I got a new life now, man. I've started over, an' I'm getting everything I've always needed but didn't realize I needed. If I stay here, I'm goin' back into that cage I broke out of. I can't stay. I have to go back."

"When I die, will you stay with him a while?"

I look at him.

"You ain't gonna die."

He looks back.

"There is no longer a guarantee on that."

"Amadeus, man, just hang on. I know you don't like the vacuum cleaner idea, but hey, maybe that'll give you the help ya need."

"It's not that that's my problem. The problem is that the medication isn't working like it should. I have all the glorious side effects but I'm not getting anything out of it. Unless it starts working, I'm going to die. And when they start 'vacuuming' my lungs, as you put it, that signifies that there really are no options left."  
"Damn," I say. "Well, if it comes to that, I'll stay with him. But I can't be sure how long. I can't guarantee nothin'."

"Just…help him hold it together. Please."

"For sure," I say. "Maybe I can take him with me, but after a while I'll have to let him go. Hell, Amadeus, I don't like it. I miss him. But I know we'll never grow up if we just keep leaning on each other."  
"I understand," he says. "Just do what you can."

"I will," I say.

"So why are you here?"

"I was wondering if you had a battery charger anywhere."

"I think there's one in the attic," he says thoughtfully. "I don't know, I haven't used it in years."

"Well I'll leave ya to whatever it is you're gonna do," I say. "I don't wanna bug ya."

"You don't bother me," says Amadeus. "But thank you for coming back."

"I had to."

I'm almost out the door when he says, "Sonic?"

"Yeah?"

"You said you left because you had no family."

"That was part of it, yeah."  
"But you've always said Miles is your brother."

"He is."

"Then doesn't that make me your father?"

I don't know what to say to that.

"Well man…that's not something you just guess."

"I don't call you son for no reason."

Wow am I dumb.

"I…I never thought of it like that," I say.

"You're like a son to me and you always have been, Sonic. I'm sorry you thought otherwise."

"Thanks, Amadeus," I say. "Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome," he says, and lies down.

"You better not die, old man. I'm not ready to miss ya quite yet."

"Maybe the machine they're going to put me on tomorrow will help. At any rate, I haven't given up yet."

"But almost."

"Yes. Almost."

"See ya around, Amadeus," I tell him, and try not to slam the door on my way out.

On the way home I can't stop thinking about what he said. He's always thought of me as a son? Why in the hell didn't I pick up on that? That would've made everythin' so much easier. I would've felt so much better back then. There are times when I wish I wasn't an idiot, and one of those times is right now. Fuck I'm stupid sometimes.

I get home and dig a dusty battery charger out of the attic. I put it in the prefab to use tomorrow and I go upstairs, 'cause I'm pretty tired and I don't feel like fucking around with the car right now.

I'm not sure where to sleep though, 'cause me and Tails used to sleep in the same room and I think it'd be kinda awkward if I just went in there like I own the place. But I go into the room 'cause I wanna see what he's done with it since I left. I know this is his dad's place and we didn't stay here often, but sometimes we did.

It's pretty empty and it doesn't look like anyone lives here. There's a poster of a plane on the wall and that's about it.

He looks so little on that bed by himself. Now I feel like a total jerk for leaving him.

I sit down in the chair by the window and just watch him. At times like these I wonder how I could leave a kid like him behind. Don't get me wrong. There are some days I miss him so much I just wanna cry in a corner. But we need to be apart. At least until we mature a bit more. Then maybe we can be best friends again. But not before then.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"You hiding or something?"

Sonic pops out from under the Cadillac holding a wrench.

"Nah, just tweaking some stuff. What's up, Knux?"

"I got some news for you."

It's been five days since he came back. I hate to say it, but it's helped Tails a lot. He's so much happier now. It seems to have rubbed off a bit on Amadeus. Tails told us the other day his dad was able to play a game of chess with him without having to go to sleep in the middle.

"Sure thing, what's up?"

"Amadeus is dead. He didn't make it."

Total shock registers on Sonic's face.

"What do you mean, he's dead? He's fine, I was just talking to him this morning, and he's been doing so much better—"

"You know he's a good actor, Sonic. He was faking you out. He was faking us all out. The suctioning made his lungs collapse."

"No way, no! It can't—he can't have—"

"He was old, Sonic. He had no chance from the beginning."

"Oh shit. Oh shit," says Sonic, and he's actually crying now.

"What?"

"It's just…something he told me."

"What would that be?"

"It's private, Knuckles. I ain't gonna go telling my private business to someone who doesn't care about me."

He stands up and puts on his jacket.

"I gotta go. Catch you later."

Maybe I was wrong.

He's actually shook up over it.

I know Sonic couldn't fake tears to save his life.

He actually does care about Amadeus after all.

I'm pretty sure he'll go to the hospital to go see for himself, so I head on over there. By some miracle I get there just after he does.

He's just standing there and staring at the empty bed, clenching and unclenching his fists and staring and staring. All of a sudden he falls on his knees and buries his face in his arms on the bed and starts bawling his eyes out.

Wow.

I wasn't expecting that.

I'm not sure what to do now.

He stays like that for at least five minutes, and for a few minutes more just stays there, shaking and trying not to cry I guess. After he gets up and wipes his face on his bomber jacket. "Fuck my life," he says to himself, and turns around.

"What do you want, Knuckles."

"Nothing."

"Are you happy now?"

"About what?"

"The jerk finally got what he deserved."

"I don't think he did."

"You're a jerk, Knuckles."

"Thanks…idiot."

He rubs his eyes and pushes me out of the way as he leaves the room.

I just watch him go.

I decide to follow him, just to be annoying, and he goes to the front desk and asks if they know where Tails went. I don't hear what they tell him but he thanks them and comes back in my direction.

"Haven't you seen enough?"

"Nope," I say.

"Fuck you," says Sonic, and heads down the hallway.

He opens a door halfway down the hallway and looks like he's having a heart attack.

Aw.

He knows already.

That wasn't any fun.

"What. The. Hell," Sonic says, going into the room. I stand in the doorway and smirk at him.

"Oops."

"You're the biggest goddamn jerk on the face of the planet! Why did you tell me he was dead, you moron?"

"I don't know. I felt like it."

Sonic goes to hit me but Amadeus yells, "Stop it! What is going on here!"

"This bastard told me you were dead!"

"Well that wasn't very nice of you," says Amadeus, frowning. "No, I was rather wishing I were dead, but I didn't die. I just got moved to another room is all."

"Why?"  
"The medication decided it was going to do its job and not cause me to be suctioned every day."

He does look a whole lot better.

"Geez," says Sonic. "Geez, Amadeus…"

"What? I didn't do anything."

Sonic just goes over and hugs him.

Well I just about fainted when I saw that. I never expected something like that from him.

I have a feeling I'm about to get it for thinking he was as much of a jerk as I thought he was…

"It's all right, son. I promised I would improve and here I have. No one has to worry any longer. Another few days and I can walk out of here vastly improved."

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that."

"I think I have."

All of a sudden Amy tumbles into the room all pink and sparkles, babbling, "Oh Tails I'm so sorry I couldn't come any sooner, I've just been so _busy _and—"

Her entire world stops when she sees Sonic.

"S…Sonic?"

"Heya Amy," he says sheepishly. "Long time no see, huh?"

"No kidding!" she says. "How are you!"

"I'm not sure," he admits. "I just about had a heart attack and killed Knuckles for being a lying jerk. How've you been since we last talked?"

"We last talked months ago, Sonic."

"Mm…not exactly."

"What are you talking about?"

He holds his hand out. "Hey Amy. I'm Maurice."

"_You're_ _Maurice_?"

"Yep."

"Oh boy. I should've known. I should've known," she says, and then hugs him. He hugs her back, and I can see he really did miss her, no matter how annoying he thinks she is.

"Hey, you never let me do that before," she says.

"I'm trying to be less of a jerk," he says.

"You never were," Amy says. "You just have trouble putting yourself in other people's shoes."

She starts talking to Amadeus about how much better he looks and Sonic and Tails are just looking at each other with these sort of knowing looks, when the Chaotix burst through the door, ninja-style.

"Who the heck are these people?" Amadeus says. "And why are they holding burritos?"

"This is the detective agency I hired to find Sonic," I say.

"Yeah, and you never paid us the second half!" Vector yells. Everyone in the room ducks and covers their ears.

"What is this, some kind of weird reunion?" asks Tails. "All we need now is for Shadow to show up."

Everyone waits for a second, but Shadow I guess doesn't feel like chatting with old friends.

"We need that money, Knuckles! The landlady is after us for the rent!"

"Fine, fine. I'll pay you tomorrow. Now will you please stop waving those things in my face?"

"Okay. But you better pay up tomorrow…or else!"

"Or else what?"

"Espio will go all ninja on you!" squeals Charmy.

"I'm so scared," I say, rolling my eyes.

"You should be," says Espio in my ear, making me jump, but before I can track him down he's gone out the door with the other two.

"I'm gonna leave you guys be," says Sonic to Tails and Amadeus. "I'm gonna finish up that car for ya, Amadeus."

"Thank you, son," he says. "I appreciate it."

Sonic walks out the door and then turns to me.

"You're gonna get what's coming to you, Knuckles. That was a jerk-ass thing to do."

"Oh, take it like a man."

"Knuckles, only a real jerk tells someone their dad is dead," says Tails. Sonic looks at Tails and smiles.

"Thanks buddy," he says.

"No problem!" says Tails, and he looks happier than he has in a long time.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

A couple of days later I'm sitting with my dad outside of the hospital, waiting for Sonic to come and pick us up. I'm not sure how he's getting here but he said he was going to come get us and not to take the bus. I don't think dad wants to take the bus anyways. Having to actually use his priority seating card would not sit well with him.

After the meds kicked in dad improved really fast. I didn't realize how much he actually was trying until then. I should've known, though. My dad works harder than anyone I know. Except Sonic. And I guess that my dad worked as hard as Sonic does when he was his age.

Sonic finally shows up.

He's driving dad's car.

"Oh my," says my dad, and when Sonic stops he runs his hand down the hood of the car. "It looks brand new."

"It should," says Sonic, leaning on the top of the car, "because it is. I couldn't bang the hood out enough so I had to get a new one and repaint it. Luckily they still sell automotive paints in old man colours.

"You completely restored it," says Amadeus. "It's better than it was before."

"My gift to you," Sonic says. "You wanna drive 'er?"

"I…I don't know if I'm quite ready for that."

"I think you should give it a shot," Sonic says. "I don't think Rosemary would want you to stop driving forever."

"I barely got through being driven in a car…actually _driving_ one may be more than I can take."

"Man, that was a while back. I know it'll never be long enough, but I think it's time you start doing things that make you uncomfortable before you can't do them at all, and regret it."

Dad just stands there and looks at the car like he wishes he could get in and drive it but isn't sure if he can.

See, when mom was killed in the car accident, it threw dad into such a deep depression that we actually had to take him to a special hospital to get him out of it. Being a general, my dad has seen quite a bit of things he'd rather not have seen, and watching his wife die was the one thing that put him over the edge. It shook up Sonic and me a lot but we got through it. After almost a year we got dad through his depression, and we moved in with him for a while to make sure he was alright, which he kind of wasn't, but we got through that too. A few months later we moved back out when he swore up and down he could live without us and that we really should get on with our lives instead of coddling an old man any longer. Getting into a car hurts him a lot, and I honestly don't know if he could drive it. But Sonic lends confidence to people somehow. He makes them believe.

On the other hand, dad _was_ driving when they got in the accident. Maybe that's too high a hill to climb.

"I suppose I can try," he says, surprising me. "I can always pull over if it's too much."

"Absolutely," Sonic says. "Go for it."

Dad sits down in the car and runs his hands over the steering wheel.

"I did miss this car…" He leans over and looks in the glove box. My dad's so old-fashioned he actually has driving gloves.

"I took 'em out, sorry," says Sonic. "I was cleaning the whole car and I forgot to put your stuff back in."

"That's quite all right," says my dad, and I climb into the passenger seat. "You even did the leather too, did you?"

"It's a really nice car," Sonic says. "I don't get to fix up nice cars like this. I get rust buckets and clunkers that I could duct-tape together if I was feeling cheap."

"I hope you didn't duct-tape my car together."

"Nah, I was polite. I used glue."

"Sonic, do I owe you anything for this? The parts can not have been cheap."

"They were free."

"How is that possible?"

"All the guys I called were out-of-their-minds happy to help restore a classic Caddy. All they wanted was a chance to see it when it was finished. So don't get creeped out if some strangers come to your place asking to see your car."

"All right," says my dad. "I can certainly allow that."

"She's running alright," says Sonic. "She's a little sticky in fourth, but otherwise…"

"What the heck are you doing putting it in fourth?"

"I'm just kidding," says Sonic. "I didn't go higher than second."

"I hope not," says my dad. "I don't even know if fourth works. I haven't taken it on the highway in I don't know when."

"I'll check the tranny for you later," says Sonic. "Let's get going, huh?"

"Right," says my dad, and he puts the car in first and heads off.

Dad does alright driving, but it's obvious he's uncomfortable. He stalls it at every red light and keeps forgetting to use the clutch, but Sonic picks up on what he's having trouble with and helps him out as best he can by reminding him to do things.

When we finally pull up to our house dad puts it in park and then just sits there with his hands on the steering wheel. "Well," he says. "What do you know. I did manage it."

"You sure did," says Sonic.

"Not very well, but I did."

"Eh, you did fine," says Sonic. "Considering."

"Considering what?"

"Your age, of course."  
"You're insufferable."

"I'll go with that," Sonic says and hops out of the car. Dad gets out more slowly but I can tell he's pretty proud of himself for actually driving his car all the way home without getting into a panic.

"Good job, dad. I'm proud of you," I tell him.

"Thank you, son," he says.

"An' Amadeus?" Sonic says.

"Yes?"

"I know Rosemary's proud of you too, wherever she is."

Dad is quiet for a minute.

"I know," he says, and he has to blink very fast to stop from crying. "Thank you."

We go into the house and sit down at the kitchen table. Dad is doing better but he's nowhere near normal, so me and Sonic pretend we need to sit down too so he doesn't feel like he's holding us back or anything. Sonic sits on the table though.

I get up and make dad a tea, a real one like he hasn't had since he got too sick to make one himself, and I guess he wasn't paying attention because when I give it to him he looks pretty surprised.

"Why thank you Miles," he says. "I haven't had one in so long."

"You're welcome, dad," I tell him, and then I get a box of crackers and me and Sonic eat them while Sonic tells dad about the automotive place and how he fixed my dad's car. There's something kind of different about them. I don't know what it is but I like it. I think that Sonic didn't know how to deal with my dad, because they're so different, but it seems like they've built a bridge over that, somehow.

"I hope Knuckles gets what's coming to him," Sonic says suddenly.

"Oh, I think he will," my dad says, smiling at a private joke into his cup.

"You do?" says Sonic.

"I'm fairly confident," says my dad.

"Oh dad," I say. "What did you do?"

"Me?" says my dad, and he's doing a very good job of being the kindly but slightly senile old man, "I didn't do anything."

"Then why would you be fairly confident?" I ask.

"Well…there is karma…"

"Yeah, there is that," says Sonic, entirely unconvinced.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see," dad says, and he takes his cup to the sink.

"So you're not going to tell us."

"Tell you what?"

"Give it up Tails," Sonic says. "Let him play his little game. If that's the only thing left in life that makes him happy, let him go on with it."

"Ahem," says my dad. "Don't talk like I'm not here."

"When are you heading back out, Sonic?" I ask him, climbing up on top of the table too.

"Eh…pretty soon. I've been gone too long. Maybe tomorrow."

"Can it wait a few more days?"

"Uh…if it has to…why?"

"We want to come with you. Not forever. Just to visit. Just to see where you're living and who your family is now. We won't stay long. But I don't think we should go for a few more days yet. I think dad needs a few days to get used to living out of the hospital."  
"As if I've never done it before," dad says.

"You've been in a sterile environment, dad. Let your body adjust to the change."

"Such a bossy boy," my dad says. "But since he's so demanding, can you wait, Sonic?"

"Sure," says Sonic. "The next plane out doesn't leave for three more days anyways. So I'll book you guys on and we'll all head out. But you guys have to plan ahead for when you want to leave. The planes in and out only leave every three weeks."

"All right," I say. "You want to give him your Visa, dad?"

"Only if he plans on giving it back," my dad says. "My pension doesn't cover outrageous teenage spending."

"My dad's not even using his pension," I tell Sonic as we go to get it. He keeps it in his desk drawer. "He made so much money from the army it just goes into the bank with the rest of it and sits there."

"Cool," said Sonic. "So he won't leave us with any debts."

"I don't think so," I say. "I think he would have planned for that anyway, if it were even an issue."

We go on the computer and book the tickets, and then I go to my dad's bank account and pay off the Visa. Sonic just looks at me.

"Your dad has you pay his bills?"

"Well he doesn't know how to use the computer. How is he supposed to do it?"

"He could go to the bank…"

"He couldn't drive."

"He could call them…"

"He doesn't have a phone."

"God Tails," Sonic says, "give your dad some tech lessons or something."

"I try…but he's so old-fashioned…"

"Hey old man!" Sonic hollers.

"Yes?" dad says from the living room.

"I think you need to get a cellphone so you can keep track of this kid here."

"I can't use those things. They're too complicated."

"You're a smart guy. You'll figure it out."

"I don't think so."

"Oh yes you will. 'Cause what happens when Tails starts going out on dates and you want to call him all night and bother him? Just to be the annoying parent?"

"Miles has a girlfriend?"

"No…it's a future scenario."

"I wouldn't call him. I know he'd be responsible."

"Amadeus, you're gonna get a phone and you're gonna learn how to use it. And that's that."

Dad looks at the ceiling.

"What did I do to deserve this! They're _both_ insufferable!"

"I think I won," says Sonic.

"I dunno…dad's pretty good at pulling them out at the last minute."

We sit down on the couch with my dad and he and Sonic start arguing good-naturedly about cellphones, but I sit back and wonder:

What _did_ my dad do to Knuckles?

Epilogue

Well, back to the Island I go.

I don't really want to go back. Much as I hate Sonic, I don't want to go back to that island and watch over a damn jewel all day.

I need a new hobby.

I get to the Island, wander through the jungle, and climb the steps of the shrine. Then I sit back and decide to take a nap.

Wait a minute.

I turn around.

The Emerald is gone.

I run all around the shrine like an idiot, hoping it just fell off or something. But no, it's gone, good and gone, and I have to go and track it down.

It's all his fault.

I know it is.

I'm going to kill him.

"_SONIC!_"


End file.
